Final Thoughts Before Sleep

I should be asleep, but here I am. Not asleep.

CBS is going very well.  I am really enjoying all that it has to offer.  So far, the only show I have worked on is "The Price Is Right", and it has been a dream come true.  The energy that is emitted from the production from the very start is something that you much experience in person.

I'm moving out of my current place in about a week and a half.  Moving back into the city, which will cut down on my commute to work, and will also allow me to see people more often.  Also, I won't have to deal with the constant smoking that happens right now.

There was a small earthquake last night at about 4AM.  It was about a 4.5.  It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was quite an experience.

Still trying to enhance myself.  Staying away from going after people.  Working out better than I thought.

My birthday is next month.

I should really go to bed.  So I'll talk to y'all later.  Remember, you can follow my random thoughts daily by following me on twitter: @CityOfStad.  Freakin' do it.

Peace Out.

Nearly, You See...

Nearly 2 months ago, I was sleeping on the floor of someone's living room in an apartment. Now I sleep on a bed (albeit an air matress) in my own room in a house.

Nearly 2 months ago, I was working in retail at an office supply store. Now, I'm still working there, but I've got an even better job working as a page at CBS Television.

Nearly 2 months ago, I was a loner, who was depressed that I had no one special to share my life. Now, I still don't have anyone, but I'm a bit happier with myself and I don't need anyone to complete me.

I think you're beginning to see the point.

It seems like, slowly, my hard work is finally showing some results. Which is nice. I'm not fully happy with everything, but then again, most people aren't with their own situation. But I am mildly content, which is gonna have to do for now.

Within a month or so, I hope to have left Staples and focus all my energy on TV. Staples is a good job, and most of the people that I work with are great, but it's not the job for me at all. If I really wanted to, I could become an awesome salesperson. But I don't like it too much. I mainly do the job for human interaction (and the pay). I give it my all when I'm there, but it is clear that my heart is in another place, and they know that. Besides, they don't wanna lose me (even the manager told me. It's flattering, but still ain't gonna work).

I called my TOMB friends after a long hiatus for our weekly phone call. It seems like there have been a lot of changes (new touchscreen, new people, new regulations on raises). Talking to them solidified in my mind that I made the right career choice by moving. I love TOMB. It is currently the longest and most fun job I've ever held. But again, I couldn't see myself making a career out of it. The most I could give away were stretchy snakes. I want to give away money and trips and cars and other stuff like that. (I hear Shut The Box still gets some use, tho. I hope it's still there when I come visit).

Women: I've taken a break from all of them by removing myself from the market. So far, most of the women I've met do the same thing: complain that there are no good guys interested in them, but then reject the attractive good guys when they come along, only to resume complaining. When they grow up, then I'll come back. Till then, I'll use this time to make myself a better man for me, and then when the lucky woman comes along, I'll be happy enough with myself that I can give her all of me.

Did you know that with a little planning, you can get to almost anywhere in LA via public transit? I do.

The best thing to have happened to me in the last week was starting the Page job at CBS. It's going to be such a great job, and a fantastic opportunity to get my foot in there. The first show I get to work on will be The Price Is Right. How apt.

I shaved for the first time ever last Wednesday. Turns out, it's not very difficult, and I personally like the clean shaven look on me. My friends say that there is no difference, but I tell them to frak off. It's now been 8 days, and I have yet to have another go at it. In due time.

I turn 24 in less than 2 months. Soon, it'll be time for anothr makeover. I do one every year, and this time I want to do something drastic. I really want to become and feel like a different person. It's not that I'm not happy with myself, it's just that I've recently discovered that I get bored VERY easily. If I'm not working on something or doing somethig worth my time, then I get restless. (Thank god I don't do drugs, or else I would be a bigger mess than I already am.) So a new look will be good for me.

My stop is coming up, so I am off. Follow me on Twitter if you're not already doing so @CityOfStad.

Peace.

Haiti: A Time For Need And A Time For Hope

I'll be the first to admit that I do a fair share of whining on this blog.  But I'd like to pause for just a moment and direct your attention to something much more important.

Yesterday, my parent's home country of Haiti was hit with a massive earthquake at the capital Port-Au-Prince.  My parents are from a very nearby city called Pétionville which also got a lot of the damage.

By now, you're probably heard and seen a lot of the damage.  And there is a good chance that you may even be sick of all the coverage. But just take a moment, if you haven't done so already, and just take a quick glance at all that is going on over there.

Hundreds of buildings are destroyed.  Thousands are feared dead.  It truly is a horrific tragedy.

My mother called me to tell me that she was able to get in contact with our immediate family over in Haiti, and miraculously, none of them were killed.  But many of their friends and family are dead or still missing.  My cousin's father is still MIA as of this writing.

I cannot imagine what is going through the minds of those who are in Haiti now.  I've seen the pictures (via a mobile upload on Facebook), and I can tell you that they are not easy to look at.  For my mom and dad, who are from that city, this is a painful time, especially because they are so far away.  The only communication they have is phone, and the success rate as of now is shoddy at best.

For me personally, this has hit me much harder than I had expected it to.  I have never had the privilege to go visit Haiti, but my connection to it is strong.  I've received a lot of support from friends here, and I appreciate it all.  But it's hard right now cause there are not may people I can turn to to relate how exactly I am feeling at this very moment.

I feel so lucky to have been able to meet my grandparents by having them come here to America.  I would have never forgiven myself if this tragedy had occurred and I was never able to meet them.  At the same time, now there are people in my family who I may never meet due to this.  It's a hard thing for me to come to terms with.

There are many ways that people here and around the world can do to show their support during this time, and I'll have a short list of them at the end of this post.  I'm not here to urge you to donate anything, because you are not required to.  All I ask is that you take a moment and get up to speed about the events around the world that are happening.  Not just with Haiti but with other events too (cause I have been a violator of that before, and recently, much prior to the earthquake, I've been striving to be better)

So:

If you want to make a donation via text, you can text "Haiti" to 90999 to make a $10 donation and text "Yele" to 501501 to make a $5 donation. The money comes out of your phone bill, and 100% goes to Red Cross for relief (Verified).  If you'd rather do that online, go to RedCross.org (Verified).

If you have someone in Haiti that you are trying to locate, The State Department Operations Center has a hotline you can call.  The number is 1-888-407-4747.  Be advised that the volume of calls is tremendous, so you may be directed to a recording (Verified).

Two twitter users have created a website called www.koneksyon.com, where you can make a post about someone you are looking for, or if you have info on a person/people someone is looking for.  There are hundreds of request on there, but if you have some time, feel free to take a look (Verified).

One more thing: Tell The Ones Whom You Love You Love Them Before They're Gone.

Resting In Peace

I got a job at Staples as an EasyTech Associate.  So I will be selling computers and such.  This is a major triumph.

Sadly, it has come at a time when I feel like my options are running very low.  In less than 3 weeks time, I will no longer be staying at my current location.  No need to go into details.  But I have between now and then to secure a place to live, else I'll be living on the streets.

The issue at hand is that at my current pay rate, there is no way I can possible make any sort of reasonable payments of rent without sacrificing other necessities like food.  It basically boils down to this:

I find a suitable place to live on the salary that I have now, which would be ideal.  Or I find a much less suitable place and have to deal with it for a bit.  Or I find no place, in which case I live outside.

I want nothing more than a place for me to rest my head without the burden of stress on my (or anybody else's) mind.  That, in a nutshell, is what my current situation is.  It is not to the point of "unbearable", but it certainly seems damn close.

I like my job so far.  I'm glad I have it.  Getting that CBS job will make me feel even better, cause I can finally take that step to get closer to my dream.  But at the moment, there are a few things that are doing a number on me and to the people around me.  And I feel guilty about that.

If I could, I would pack up and leave now, if only to remove this feeling of inconvenience from them.  Although it has not been said outright, I know that it is there.  I see it on his face every day.  I see it in the way he converses with me.  I even see it in the way the little everyday things are done by him, from shutting a door to opening the fridge.  It's clear that I'm not helping.

So, regardless of where I am, by the end of the 2nd week of January, if I still have not found a suitable place for me to live, I will leave his place and figure it out from there.  At least then, the burden will be gone, and he (and the others) will no longer have to deal with me, because in my mind, me being here clearly is not working with him.  Which I understand.

In preparation for this, I have already packed my bags.  There are ready to go so that in a moment's notice, I can be off.  I've also am buying less food, and I'm trying to sleep in an intrusive area, so that I take up as little space as possible.

Since moving here, I have had few moments where I have been blissfully happy.  I would go as far as saying that I could count the number of instances on both hands.  I currently am in a depressed state of mind while trying to stay focused on my goal (I think I can be depressed and still be productive and goal-oriented at the same time).

I have no plans on going back to Boston yet, but currently I have no idea where I'll even be sleeping tomorrow.

Peace

Interviews? Word, Dawg.

There is one advantage to having a blog that virtually nobody reads:

You can write whatever the heck you want.

Sometimes there is something that you just wanna say, but you can't immediately cause either the right people aren't around to hear it, or it's not appropriate to say on, say, a social networking site (lest you want to start a fight or something).

*sigh* Now I feel much better. Let's get started.

I'll start with some good stuff. I had my first interview in Los Angeles today at the Staples down the street. The manager's name was Sal, and he was nice and very professional. He said that he was very impressed with the way I presented myself, as well as my resume, so I think I did a great job. I'm to check with him on Thursday afternoon. Why Thursday? I'll tell you in a bit.

Now the not-so-good stuff. This week alone has been probably one of the worst weeks so far. It's not because of the weather (cause I really like rain, and it has been raining for a bit). And it's not because Sallie Mae keeps calling me at 5AM (though that is very annoying for sure). It's mainly because I've been stressed and frankly angry. Stressed because I'm still looking for work (but it's looking up). Angry because my character was recently put into question. I nearly walked out at the beginning of this week, but thanks to some great friends, they convinced me otherwise. I'm still upset, and will probably be for a while, but I'm using energy to push me to be the best I can be. It's not exactly the way I wanted to be motivated, but it is indeed working, so I'll keep it going till it pays off.

It is not easy right now for most people, so I get annoyed when people make comments about how people are not making an effort to get things done, when in reality, many people are doing SO MUCH to progress and get results. Words have a profound power to them, and must be used wisely.

Back to the good stuff. Since the incident, I have been searching for work with a friend. I had already done this a few times before the incident, but it has been more important than ever, and it's working. We are both in the same situation, so I feel like we can be moral support for each other (which is what I think some people here fail to understand). She's a source of great information, and we've been keeping our promise of keeping each other in check.

Oh, and the reason why I must check in on Staples on Thursday? I have an interview with CBS that day for a spot in the Page position. THIS is the job I desperately want to get. I told Sal about it, and he told me that it is alright. I would ideally hold two jobs, so I hope this all works out. If it does, then I can finally focus on finding a place of my own in LA.

So that's the deal up to this point. My hard work is paying off. I have made it this far using my own way to get there. I would like to make it clear to anyone who is even thinking of moving here that there is no ONE WAY to get things done. And it's ok to go at it your own way. But do know who your friends are, and utilize them, cause the true decent friends will be the ones who will be there for you when you need it most.

The next time I write here, I hope to be writing with a CBS lanyard around my neck.

Peace.

Quickie (Yes!)

It's been about 3 weeks since I've dropped into LA. I'll give you the quick notes:

Dan opened his arms and has allowed me to stay at his place. Though I feel like a small burden, he has assured me that I am not. It makes me feel much better. And he's helping me find my own place. (I'll be better for both of us...) *smiles*

While I have no actual job, I've been bombarded with lots of listings. Only now am I getting to them. It's overwhelming to say the least. But I really hope I grab something good.

I've met a lot of Dan's friends. They are awesome. It's almost like I never left Boston. Karaoke has become a weekly thing. Most recently, I sang one of my favorites "Ain't No Mountain High Enough". You can't sing that one alone. So it's great that I sang it with this new friend of mine, Melissa. It was the most EPIC performance I can think of to date. Truly an awesome moment.

If I keep going the way I'm going, I'm never going to be comfortable sleeping on a regular bed. Forever will I be conditioned to sleeping on a couch.

"School Daze" is nearing completion. I'm almost done with creating an full episode. It's hard to do alone: writing the questions and such.

Halloween Parade: AWESOME! But I didn't find any other members of the Scooby Gang.

BUT: I did win a new "Mystery Machine" (AKA: A new bike).

If anyone from Boston is reading this, just know that I love you all and miss you tons. But I'm having a good time here in LA. I don't know when I'll be back to the East Coast, but rest assured that when I do, it'll be an event.

Ok. That's It For Now. Peace.

Post Party Ponderings

Last night, Lir hosted a goodbye party for me. I had invited as many friends as I could, and a huge number of them showed up. Never in a million years did I ever think I would be blown away by the support of people like them.

I arrived 30 minutes late (as is traditional for me), and was greeted by Mario (who had just gotten back from year in Arizona). He's always been there for me, so it was great to see him.

I rush upstairs to find the room adorned with balloons, a food table with pizza and cupcakes, and some of my friends milling about. It takes a lot for me to blush (mainly because I don't think I'm physically able to do so), but that moment was probably the closest I've gotten. The entire staff had put together so much effort, and it was all for me. I couldn't believe it. It was incredible.

I gave my hugs and chatted with people, while enjoying a beer or shot. I had asked my friend Fiona to buy a notebook for me so that people could write in it, for the sole purpose that I wanted something to read on the plane ride to LA. The only stipulation was that the only person not aloud to write or even look in it was myself. I'm not to open the book until I am airborne (currently, the book is in my backpack, wrapped in a plastic bag. It is very hard for me not to break my own promise...).

I could go on about everything that happened that night, but what I'm getting at is that it did not hit me till I woke up this morning that I really am going to miss this place and the people who are residing here. One person said that "this is not goodbye, it's just see ya later." I asked why, and she had a good response to it: "you're merely moving away; I say goodbye to those who have left this world." And I understood.

I am horrible at correspondence, so I've told everyone to hold me accountable for keeping in touch with them (if indeed they want to keep in touch with me). But I won't forget them. They won't let me.

Anyway, the entire night was a great success, and I feel great. At the same time, I feel uncertain about what the future will bring. I don't enjoy saying goodbye. Especially to those I care about.

So, if you are reading this, just know that I love you very much (Unless you're Lisa Loeb, then instead I love you very very much).

Thanks for the great experiences, and continue to be the awesome person you are.

Peace Out.